i fear. i fear what might come. expected or unexpected. why does it have to be that way? why do things change? why do people change so abruptly and leave us feeling so lost and confused? adapting is hard. accepting the fact is hard. getting used to the idea that something is no longer what it used to be is even harder. but people try. at least they want to. they say that they will try. but along the way, they themselve lose it. i know it may not be something that we can control, and that is very hurtful. fate and destiny meddle. we can only try. so why is it that even when we do try, we still cant achieve what our hearts desire?
this may sound random but its true, and it plays in my mind every single day. changes. disappointing changes that is. i know i have to be ready for any circumstances but its so painful to think that one day it might really happen to me. maybe i would be the one that changes first. who knows? maybe coz we are supposed to take a different route in life. maybe we just need to learn to adapt and accept the fact.
moving on is another thing. it has something to do with getting used to the idea of changes. after so long living a life revolving around something, and suddenly that main structure is taken away. what do we do then? wakin up someday and realising its no longer there and everything else is not the same anymore. then we wish that we can turn back time and change whatever mistakes we have made. but its not possible and then we start regretting. but what is the point? we can only learn from it and pray hard that we will be able to not let it happen again...
the idea of everything being wasted and that we wont be as complete anymore; how do we get used to that? if only we know what is in store for us in the future. well, its better to stop wondering now. we just have to live life the way we choose to. dont hold back so much. dont let regret of the past interfere with the present. but yes, it is easier said than done. saying this now, maybe i wont practice it afterwards. i dont know. all i can do for now is hope. and try my best to keep things the way it is, and pray really hard that if something were to happen, i would be able to endure the pain and not let it get to me so much.
memories fade. its true. so sad, but so true. i dont want my memories to fade. never ever. i need them. i need to remember and i cant afford to forget. some memories hurt and some are wonderful. forgetting is the worst thing that anyone could do. but that doesnt mean we have to live in the past and ponder over it every single day. it just simply means that we should remember the turns that we took in life, and the opportunities we missed or grabbed. the memories that i made in the past, i would always remember. the sad thing is, sometimes the people that we share the memories with, dont. and we are stuck thinking that maybe it didnt matter to them as much and we realise that they have moved on so much faster. i would love to relive those happy days. but i guess it wont be the same anymore. i found it hard to accept in the beginning. but after making all these theories and seeing where it truly led to, i have made a conclusion for myself.
moving on is the best, but remembering the past is important as well. and living life the best way we could, will just make our future even better and then we can compare the things that we did in the past, the mistakes we made, and see how much we have learnt. we get to decide the paths we should take, make wiser judgements and finally understand that everything happens for a reason.
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