changes

sometimes u close ur eyes for a while and when u open, everything around u have changed and u feel lost. u feel scared. u panic. and u look for the main thing that ur life has revolved around. when u dont find it, u go crazy. eventually. for me, i would just stand in one spot and wait for everything to come back to me. i never actually experienced something exactly like this, but i know a lot of people had. they take some time to get over it, but it will stay inside them, like a scar that wont go away. there was a song that goes something like "the scars remind us that the past is real". how true.
the past present and future. people keep on pondering about all the possibilities that might occur during those three periods. human nature i suppose. some choose to forget and move on. some choose to linger in the past and let it take over the present and the future. like ive said many times before, the past prepares us for the future. that is why, everything happens for a reason. so why do i keep repeating myself? maybe because this whole matter wont leave my mind and i get stuck on it everytime as i find it so enigmatic and relative to my life. to everybody's life.

or maybe in a different case scenario, u wake up and find urself disappointed that nothing has changed at all. certain people wish that their lives werent made up of certain elements but they cant exactly do anything about it. so they hope and hope and keep on hoping till they only see and believe what they want to. they live in denial. they forget to sit and breathe for a moment to digest everything in. these people may not have control over these things and so we cant really say anything about it. psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists do their job to understand what's really running through the minds of these so called senile people. what if it happens to u? to me? will i be able to convince myself?
perhaps i am now able to draw a conclusion and its safe to say that maybe ive come up with all these opinions and thoughts just because i want to believe them myself and that hopefully when my life takes an unexpected turn, i would at least have some ability to talk myself through based on all this. yes, thats exactly what ive been thinking of. how people are able to convince others but its such a chore to convince themselves.