language

dont know why suddenly today im in the mood to blog. maybe coz its a friday and tomorrow is gonna be depressing for me. syiqah blogged bout the how people say malay girls who speak english a lot have already forgotten their roots. all i wanna say is this : kalo kitorang ckp english pun, bukannye kitorang tak reti ckp melayu kan?? ade ke kitorang berlagak nak ckp bombastik nye english kat korang? takde kan?

the thing is, we dont speak english coz we wanna berlagak/perasan terer. dah tentu in this era of globalisation, and we also live in a world where english is so the very penting, of coz lah kene ckp english kan..ive been schooling in an english school for the past 10 years. majority of the students are non malays and my close frens are non malays. okay, so you may say why cant they speak malay instead? well..fact is, sometimes we do use malay to speak. like me, cheryl, sindhu, joey, florence, irene all pernah speak malay to each other ape.

whatsmore, being in convent means you have to know how to speak english if you dont want to be discriminated. The stigma is this : malay girls dunno how to speak english

so why dont we change that mindset?? huh?


i hate the fact that language barrier is a problem for me to communicate with people. i go tuition, the malay students look at me one kind coz i speak english with my friends. then i find out they are intimidated coz i speak english and therefore i am sombong or too "high standard" to be their friends. its a really menyakitkan hati punye thing coz some of the guys are cute! and they think this and that bout girls like us. hampeh.


okay, so i listen to english music, watch english movies, read only english books, write in english, talk in english 90% of the time, doesnt mean i have forgotten about my malay roots. I just prefer things in english. That's all. It's my domain. I know when to speak malay and who to speak malay to. I realise that this has become some sort of sensitive issue in our lives.

personally, it causes a minor identity crisis in me. i know this applies to some as well. It's like...when you speak english in the presence of the malays who dont, you'd feel conscious. Why? Coz we're afraid of what they may think or say. macam tak kene tempat la.

i do converse mostly in english and as embarrassing as it is, my bm's getting worse. haha. in exams that is.

i knw what people would say to this : just be yourself.

but sometimes its not that easy.